Aspiring to be a Gardener
Well I started school this week. Today I sat in my car before class contemplating whether or not to go in. I get like that sometimes, it's just one of my "things" I guess. I did go in, with a weird nervousness in the pit of my stomach. The class I had tonight is called "Youth at Risk." God has been doing some things in my heart for a while concerning youth so I thought this would be a good class for me. Thankfully, there were people I knew from previous classes in there and I even made a new friend so that was good. My professor is pretty amazing. She is so calm and has A LOT of knowledge. I look forward to asking her questions and all that good stuff. Anywho, something she said tonight really stuck with me. I think it was from our book, but she brought it to life... She said that we should be gardeners and not mechanics. For the rest of the class I just started thinking about what that really means for me. A gardener works with living things, they nurture and help things grow. A mechanic works with objects and tries to fix those objects.
Sometimes I get this fear in me. Yes I love people. I love my girls from Hume. I care deeply about kids who aren't being nurtured and who don't feel love. But sometimes I just get scared that I don't know enough to do anything about how passionate I am about these things. I guess that I've always just felt that love just isn't enough for me to make a difference.
Then I realize that it isn't me making the difference anyway, it's God. He's the real gardener. Do you know what I'm trying to say here? I'm definitely NOT a mechanic. I understand that I can't fix people. But sometimes I don't know if I'm really a gardener either. Please pray for me friends.
In other news, I don't work tomorrow. What a sweet, sweet day. I love you guys.