Change of Thinking
Farah and I are offically roomies! I pretty much love her. Last night we stayed up and talked about, yes Michael, life, love and other mysteries. I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow! Today has been such a good day, this whole weekend has just been amazing! I think I've had excitement overload. :o) I'm pretty sure I'll crash soon. The Hough's are on vacation, I really miss them. They come back on Friday. Crystal is married, totally crazy. The wedding was pretty sweet. I don't have much else to say, I'm just really happy right now. Life is good.

The Last
Ok, here's what's going on. I wrote this letter tonight to let go of this "thing" that has just been tormenting me for too long. I'm not suicidal, I'm not depressed, I am fine. I pray that this really is it.

To the man who has broken me more than anyone else,

If my heart were a book, your name would appear on many of the pages. How I wish those pages were written in pencil so I could erase them. It wasn't right for you to use me in an effort to hide your feelings for men. For that, I feel betrayed in so many ways. From the night that I stayed awake in my bed too excited to sleep because of you, I thought we would most likely end up together. Even when we weren't acting on our friendship, I still held hope in my heart for us. The night you called me to apologize for not giving me the time and attention I was worth when we were dating, what was that? Was that really what you were apologizing for? Why didn't you just apologize for dating me? To say that I was always just a good friend, is that true? Tell me what is really true! HPI. Here are some truths: you have broken my heart more times than you know- tonight is the last time, I didn't reject you- you rejected me, the letters that I gave you were the most personal and treasured thing I have ever given anyone, so treasured and personal that I was waiting for our wedding day to give them to you- I wish I had never written them, I put an effort into our friendship- you threw it away, you lied to me. I suppose I could have looked a little deeper into the situation. I could have taken a hint when you made no effort to see or talk to the girl you said you "really liked too." I could have kept you in my mind as the mold for my future husband and left it at that, but I didn't. This letter is the result of that, among other things. I don't know how you can erase me so easily, without even talking to me, without even apologizing, and I remain tortured. I don't want to think about this anymore. I don't want to cry over this anymore. I don't want to wonder if I did something wrong anymore. I just want it to be gone, so now it is. I've realized that I have nothing to be sorry for in this disaster, so I'm not. I have nothing left to say, nothing left to ask.

May my heart never be troubled or swayed by this again,
Jennifer

Ice Hockey and Such
I decided today that I am going to go to an ice hockey game this year. How fun would that be? To get in the spirit, I am going to watch the Mighty Ducks and Miracle. Who's with me? In other news, this is the week that Farah and I say ahoy to The Flying Dutchess. We will board our ship on Thursday and hide our plunder sometime thereafter. I hear the Black Pearl will be arriving soon, we wouldn't want the slimey souls on that wretched ship to find our treasure. Pirate Drazin and I will have to find a suitable place for our valuable jewels and such. Dread pirates Parker and Shaw have shown no mercy in the villages they have ravaged in the past. Contrary to popular belief (Pirate Shaw), I attack my villages with grace, and I don't use items such as: sardines, potatoes, tortillas, processed meats, etc. If ye pirates want to accuse me, you will surely walk the plank for your horribly false accusations. That is all.

Living on a Pirate Ship
It's true, Farah and I are still searching for a name for our love shack. And wouldn't you know, the Michael's are naming their place after a pirate ship, what a great idea! So, I have generated some possible pirate ship names for F n J's place...
The Cruel Manta
The Gold Lightning
The Poison Cry
The Gold Thunder
The Vile Cannon
The Swashbuckler

What do you guys think? Farah?

I Cheated
I totally screwed up my diet guys. Not only did I eat ice cream last night, I had Wendy's for lunch today, and I am about to consume yet another bad substance. Somebody needs to get over here and slap me! Ok I think I'm done.
You guys are pretty much hilarious. I assure you all that I am fine. I wrote that poem because it was just something I have held onto in my heart for a while, and now in my eyes, the letters are gone. I'm over it. I don't feel like writing it all out so if you want to know about it all, just ask. I don't have to work tomorrow, this is a very exciting fact. My plans? Nothing really, which is great. Tonight was my last lamaze class with my sister. It ended pretty good, I think all of the future parents learned a lot, I was pretty much just scared out of having kids.
Last night I bought a couple of episodes of The Office off of ITunes. If you haven't seen that show, you need to. It is pretty amazingly funny. Here's a quote from it: "I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will." "Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?" "So I can lower it."
Here's another one, just in case you're not completely convinced: "Statistics show that most office gossip happens around the water cooler. That has me at a disadvantage because, I bring my own waster to work." Come on, that's some funny stuff and you know it!
Ok, I think I have said enough about stuff. Have a good week my friends!

Letters and Words
Ok, I realize that this might be a little lame, but I've been thinking about some things lately and tonight I wrote a poem. Don't judge me. Here we go...

Letters and Words

I gave you a part,
a piece of myself.
You didn't want it,
maybe you never did.
Was I worth anything?

My heart written down,
in letters and words.
I gave them to you,
but you didn't want them.
Were they worth anything?

I wish I had thrown them away,
my letters to you.
My words in the trash,
better there than in your hands.

If I would have known,
I would have thrown them away!
They are more worthy there,
than in your hands.

Please throw them away,
my letters and words.

Dyno-Mighty
So yesterday was the Fourth of July, pretty exciting. I pretty much love fireworks, even though they pollute the air and people don't pick up their their remains afterwards. Ok, I had been looking forward to the church block party ever since I heard about it. And I'll admit that it started out a little lame, but it definitely ended up being a blast. Haha, get it? I was very happy to see all of my beloved friends there, even Morgan came! Michael totally almost had an asthma attack, which was a little scary. I even went on a walk with my vintage buddies Rose and Michael, that was pretty exciting. The only sad part was that it was a potluck and I ate a lot more than I should have. Oh yeah, I also entered into the apple pie cook off, I really thought I had a chance at winning. But alas, somebody with more experience won! Blasted age discrimination. :o) Just kidding. Anyway, all in all I had a great fourth, hope all of you guys and gals did too.

Weight Loss Challenge
Yesterday, my co-workers and I got on a scale (seperately) to see how much we weighed. Did we do this for fun? No. You see, we all decided that it was time to shed some pounds, but this time, it's going to be different... because it's for cold hard cash. Sure I want to lose some weight, but nothing motivates like the crisp feel of Jefferson, Abe, or Johnson. I would also like to fit into my favorite pair of jeans again too, don't juge me guys. I must say, dieting is really hard! The exercising part is much easier. I suppose it will be worth it in the end though.
Ok, next topic. One more month until Farah and I move in together!! I am very excited about this. I've been trying to think of names for our place. Anyone have any suggestions? A few that I have thought of are: Serenity, The Haven, The Love Nest, and that's about it. Farah, what do you think?
Alright, I really don't have anything else to say. Hope to see most of you at the 4th of July Block Party, you better vote for my apple pie!
Shout Outs:
Michael: Your blog about us and the x-men/women was fantastic! I give it five stars. :o)
Farah:I can't believe there's only one short month until we are together everyday!! Our place is going to be so great, I am so thankful that we became friends.
Tani:You better get me something from that booth you're always working at. I like explosions, that's all I'm gonna say. Call me.
Parker:Does it scare you that I'm planning our future? If it does, I'm sorry. I just have all of these ideas about what the roomies can do together! The picnic/bike ride one is pretty great, don't you think so?
Zach:Your deck looks amazing. And I've decided that I am going to agree with Michael, you are pretty much Angel. Glad we got back in touch, come visit soon because we all miss you.
Lauren:You crack me up everyday! I am really thankful that we work together, it's gorgeous!!!
Carrie:How about a free tour eh? Seriously, we need to find time for each other, I still have your bonfire blanket if you want to go to the beach sometime... with me. :o)
Ashli:Remember 2 summers ago when you lived in old orcutt and we had the bbq where we kidnapped Kevin? That was fun. We should do it again soon, maybe w/o the kidnap though.
Austen:If you don't bring me back something from Sonic, I will fight you. And that's no lie.
Steph:You are a great photographer. That sunset was incredible. I can't wait until I come to Sacramento again, old skool.
Reuben:"Guns don't kill people, I kill people."
And to everyone else out there in blog land, forgive me for not giving you a shout out. Happy Canada Day my friends, Happy Canada Day.