Worth
Why is it that we get such a messed up view of where our worth really lies? Some think that their worth is in their bank account, some in their family, some in their popularity, and some in their education. Why do I feel like I'll be woth more when I have a degree in my hands? And why do I feel worthLESS without it? That is so messed up! Who makes us believe these lies? I know for certain that the only worth I have in my whole being is Jesus. The new heart He placed in me when I committed my life to Him, His Holy Spirit inside of me, He validates me. He is my worth. Why can't I just accept that? I believe it, and I want to aceept it, I even act like I accept it, but I live like I don't. I always feel like me, myslef alone, just isn't enough. I always have to concentrate on something that I'm good at so that I don't feel worthless. It happens all of the time, and then I need someone else to agree that I'm good at it. I'm sure Crystal gets tired of me trying to get her to validate my worth, at least she does a good job. But at the end of the day, I don't believe any of it. I don't believe that I'm really excellent at anything. And I tell myself that Jesus holds my worth, trying to console myself. I don't know what I'm saying, this is just a bunch of rambling I suppose. I just wish I could get rid of the world's influence on my thinking, and accept the fact that I am the Lord's- He is all that matters.... not very easy.